Book Notes: How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The fundamental point from the book is really to think about things from the other person’s perspective – for you to think about what they want or what is in it for them rather than coming from the perspective of you pushing you ideas and approached, which does tend to be the perspective which most people attack problems.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  • Don’t criticise, condemn, or complain.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  • Arouse in the other person an eager want.


Ways to Make People Like You

  • Become genuinely interested in other people.
  • Smile.
  • Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  • Be a good listener.
  • Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
  • Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  • Show respect for the other person’s opinions.
  • If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  • Begin in a friendly way.
  • Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
  • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  • Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
  • Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  • Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  • Appeal to the nobler motives.
  • Dramatise your ideas.
  • Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment

  • Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  • Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  • Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
  • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  • Let the other person save face.
  • Praise every improvement.
  • Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  • Use encouragement.
  • Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.