Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

1. What do you really want to address?
   1. The content
   2. The pattern
   3. The relationship
2. If?
   1. Don’t let fear make the decision.
   2. What is the risk of not having the conversation?

1. What story am I telling myself? What is the rest of the stories?

	Motivation	Ability
Personal	Is the person motivated to do it	Does the person have the skills/knowledge
Social	People want to fit in with others	Are others helping or hindering
Structure	Does the reward structure match the aim	Does the physical structure fit

1. Make it safe with facts
2. Explain the gap between expected and observed
3. Make it motivating and easy (using the above table)
4. Agree on a plan and follow up – who does what by when, then follow up
5. Stay focused and flexible – keep to the topic, if new topics come up then decide if they are more important but return to the original topic. Don’t get sidetracked.

Self assessment

Choose What and If

1. To avoid getting into an argument, I tend to put off certain discussions longer than I should.
2. Sometimes when people disappoint or bother me, I confront them-only to realize that I talked about the easy problem, but not the real root problem.
3. Parts of my life would improve if I could just figure out how to talk about certain hot topics without taking too much risk.
4. Occasionally I talk myself out of holding a certain discussion by convincing myself it’s better to cope than it is to risk an ugly confrontation.
5. With some of the problems I care about the most, I find myself bringing up the same issue over and over again.

Master My Stories

1. When others do things that are mean or selfish and I’m less than kind in return, I tell myself that they deserved it.
2. When others don’t deliver on a promise, there are times when I judge their reasons for doing so more quickly than I should.
3. Sometimes
4. I assume that others cause me problems on purpose, and then I act as if this assumption is actually true when it may be false.
5. Occasionally I wonder if I’m too quick to anger.
6. There are times when I’ve totally blamed others for a problem only to learn that I was partially responsible.

Describe the Gap

1. Sometimes I bring up problems in a way that makes others defensive.
2. Occasionally I talk to someone about his or her bad behavior within earshot of others.
3. There are times when I can’t figure out how to give others completely honest feedback in a way that won’t offend them.
4. Sometimes when I bring up a problem. I do too
5. much talking and not enough listening.
6. When I bring up problems with others, there are times when I make it hard for them to share their views

Make It Motivating

1. I can’t motivate some people to change because I don’t have enough power to do so.
2. In order to get people to want to do certain things, sometimes I rely on guilt or threats
3. There are times when I can’t figure out why people aren’t interested in doing what they should be doing.
4. Sometimes it’s hard to get others to understand that the behavior I want from them is really in their best interest.
5. There are people routinely deal with who, to be honest, just can’t be motivated.

Make It Easy

1. When people find a job to be unattractive or nox ious, I occasionally turn up the heat so they’ll do it no matter what.
2. When someone can’t do something, I tend to jump in with my advice, when all they really want is a chance to talk about their ideas.
3. Sometimes I think that individuals who bend over backward to make jobs easy are pampering people who just need to do their job and be held accountable.
4. Occasionally after finishing a problem-solving discussion, I forget to check to see if the other person is committed to doing what’s necessary.
5. There are times when I’ve asked others for their ideas but didn’t really need them because I already had a plan of my own.

Stay Focused and Flexible

1. When talking to others about problems, sometimes I get sidetracked and miss the original problem.
2. When people bring up whole new problems during an accountability discussion, I don’t know what to do with the new issue.
3. When people get angry in the middle of a discussion, I don’t always know how to respond.
4. I’m pretty good at staying focused on an issue, but occasionally I may miss talking about what the other person really wants to discuss.
5. When people miss a commitment and should have updated me but didn’t, I generally let them off the hook-even though they didn’t have the courtesy to involve me.

Agree on a Plan and Follow Up

1. Sometimes I work through a problem but forget to clarify who is supposed to do what by when
2. There are times when I’m disappointed with what others have done because they have failed to understand exactly what I wanted them to do.
3. Sometimes I neglect to give others a specific deadline, only to be surprised when they don’t deliver by the time I expected them to.
4. I’m pretty sure that either my kids, my spouse, or some of the people I work with think I micromanage them.
5. Sometimes I give people assignments but don’t have adequate time to follow up.

The aim – to answer “No” to all of the statements