Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
- What do you really want to address?
- The content
- The pattern
- The relationship
- Don’t let fear make the decision.
- What is the risk of not having the conversation?
- What story am I telling myself? What is the rest of the stories?
|Is the person motivated to do it
|Does the person have the skills/knowledge
|People want to fit in with others
|Are others helping or hindering
|Does the reward structure match the aim
|Does the physical structure fit
- Make it safe with facts
- Explain the gap between expected and observed
- Make it motivating and easy (using the above table)
- Agree on a plan and follow up – who does what by when, then follow up
- Stay focused and flexible – keep to the topic, if new topics come up then decide if they are more important but return to the original topic. Don’t get sidetracked.
Choose What and If
- To avoid getting into an argument, I tend to put off certain discussions longer than I should.
- Sometimes when people disappoint or bother me, I confront them-only to realize that I talked about the easy problem, but not the real root problem.
- Parts of my life would improve if I could just figure out how to talk about certain hot topics without taking too much risk.
- Occasionally I talk myself out of holding a certain discussion by convincing myself it’s better to cope than it is to risk an ugly confrontation.
- With some of the problems I care about the most, I find myself bringing up the same issue over and over again.
Master My Stories
- When others do things that are mean or selfish and I’m less than kind in return, I tell myself that they deserved it.
- When others don’t deliver on a promise, there are times when I judge their reasons for doing so more quickly than I should.
- I assume that others cause me problems on purpose, and then I act as if this assumption is actually true when it may be false.
- Occasionally I wonder if I’m too quick to anger.
- There are times when I’ve totally blamed others for a problem only to learn that I was partially responsible.
Describe the Gap
- Sometimes I bring up problems in a way that makes others defensive.
- Occasionally I talk to someone about his or her bad behavior within earshot of others.
- There are times when I can’t figure out how to give others completely honest feedback in a way that won’t offend them.
- Sometimes when I bring up a problem. I do too
- much talking and not enough listening.
- When I bring up problems with others, there are times when I make it hard for them to share their views
Make It Motivating
- I can’t motivate some people to change because I don’t have enough power to do so.
- In order to get people to want to do certain things, sometimes I rely on guilt or threats
- There are times when I can’t figure out why people aren’t interested in doing what they should be doing.
- Sometimes it’s hard to get others to understand that the behavior I want from them is really in their best interest.
- There are people routinely deal with who, to be honest, just can’t be motivated.
Make It Easy
- When people find a job to be unattractive or nox ious, I occasionally turn up the heat so they’ll do it no matter what.
- When someone can’t do something, I tend to jump in with my advice, when all they really want is a chance to talk about their ideas.
- Sometimes I think that individuals who bend over backward to make jobs easy are pampering people who just need to do their job and be held accountable.
- Occasionally after finishing a problem-solving discussion, I forget to check to see if the other person is committed to doing what’s necessary.
- There are times when I’ve asked others for their ideas but didn’t really need them because I already had a plan of my own.
Stay Focused and Flexible
- When talking to others about problems, sometimes I get sidetracked and miss the original problem.
- When people bring up whole new problems during an accountability discussion, I don’t know what to do with the new issue.
- When people get angry in the middle of a discussion, I don’t always know how to respond.
- I’m pretty good at staying focused on an issue, but occasionally I may miss talking about what the other person really wants to discuss.
- When people miss a commitment and should have updated me but didn’t, I generally let them off the hook-even though they didn’t have the courtesy to involve me.
Agree on a Plan and Follow Up
- Sometimes I work through a problem but forget to clarify who is supposed to do what by when
- There are times when I’m disappointed with what others have done because they have failed to understand exactly what I wanted them to do.
- Sometimes I neglect to give others a specific deadline, only to be surprised when they don’t deliver by the time I expected them to.
- I’m pretty sure that either my kids, my spouse, or some of the people I work with think I micromanage them.
- Sometimes I give people assignments but don’t have adequate time to follow up.
The aim – to answer “No” to all of the statements