Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Nonviolent communication is a way of communicating that leads to us giving from the heart where we perceive relationships in a new light when we hear our own needs deeper and those of others. We can shine consciousness on places where we hope to find what we are seeking.

• The four steps:
  1. Observations
  2. Feelings
  3. Needs
  4. Requests
• Communication that blocks compassion
  • Certain ways of communicating alienate us from our natural state of compassion
  • In the world of judgements, our concern centre on “who is what”
  • Analysis of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values
  • Classifying and judging people promotes violence
  • Comparisons are a form of judgement
  • Our language obscures awareness of personal responsibility
  • We can replace language which implies lack of choice with language that acknowledges choice.
  • We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think and feel
  • We can never make people do anything
  • Thinning based on “who deserves what” blocks compassionate communication
  • Life-alienating communication has deep philosophical and political roots
• Observe without evaluating
  • When we combine observation with evaluation, people are apt to hear criticism
• Identifying and expressing feelings
  • Expressing out vulnerability can help resolve conflict
  • Distinguish feelings from thoughts
  • Thoughts can include
    • Words – that, like, as, as if
    • Pronouns – I, you, he, she, they, it
    • Names – Amy
    • Nouns referring to people – my boss
  • Distinguish between what we feel and what we think we are
  • What we think we are include
    • Evaluation e.g. inadequate could be the feelings e.g. disappointed, impatient, frustrated
  • Distinguish between what we feel and how we think others react or behave towards us e.g. unimportant, misunderstood, ignored
• Taking responsibility for our feelings
  • What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but not the cause
  • Four options for receiving negative messages
    1. Blame ourselves
    2. Blame others
    3. Sense our own feelings and needs
    4. Sense others’ feelings and needs
  • Connect your feelings with your needs – “I feel … because …”
  • Distinguish between giving from the heart and being motivated by guilt
  • Judgements of others are alienated expressions of our own unmet needs
  • If we express our needs we have a better chance of having them met
  • Some basic human needs – Autonomy, Celebration, Integrity, Interdependence, Play, Spiritual Communion, Physical Nurturance
  • If we don’t value our needs others might not either
  • Emotional Slavery to Emotional Liberation
    1. We see ourselves as responsible for others’ feelings
    2. The obnoxious stage – we feel angry, we no longer want to be responsible for others’ feeling
    3. Emotional liberation – we take responsibility for our intentions and actions. We respond to the needs of others out of compassion, never out of fear, guilt or shame.
• Requesting that which would enrich life
  • Use positive language when making requests
  • Making requests in clear positive, concrete action language reveals what we really want
  • Vague language contributes to internal confusion
  • Depression is the reward we get for being “good”
  • When we simply express our feelings it may not be clear to the listener what we want them to do
  • We are often not conscious of what we are requesting
  • Requests may sound like demands when unaccompanied by the speaker’s feelings and needs
  • The clearer we are about what we want the more likely we are to get it
  • To make sure the message we sent is the message that’s received ask for the listener to reflect it back
  • Express appreciation when your listener tried to meet your request for a reflection – especially when the words repeated don’t match the messages intent
  • Empathise with the listener who doesn’t want to reflect back
  • After we express ourselves vulnerable we often want to know
    1. What the listener is feeling
    2. What the listener is thinking; or
    3. whether the listener would be willing to take a particular action
  • In a group much time is wasted when the speaker does not know what response they want
  • When the other person hears a demand from us, they see two options
    1. Submit
    2. Rebel
  • To tell if it’s a demand or a request, observe what the speaker does if the request is not complied with
  • It’s a demand if the speaker then criticises or judges
  • It’s a demand if the speaker then lays a guilt trip
  • It’s a request if the speaker then shows empathy towards the other person’s needs
  • Our objective is a relationship based on honesty and empathy
• Receiving empathically
  • There are two parts of nonviolent communication
    1. Express honestly
    2. Receive empathically
  • Empathy: emptying our mind and listening with our whole being
  • What empathy is not:
    • Advising, one-upping, educating, consoling, story-telling, shutting down, sympathising, interrogating, explaining, correcting, reassurance
  • Intellectual understanding blocks empathy
  • Listen to what people are needing rather than what they are thinking
  • When asking for information first express our own feelings and needs
  • Reflect back messages that are emotionally charged
  • Paraphrase only when it contributes to greater compassion and understanding
  • Behind intimidating messages are merely people appealing to us to meet their needs
  • A difficult message is an opportunity to enrich someone else’s life
  • Paraphrasing saves time
  • When we stay with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves
  • We know a speaker has received adequate empathy when
    1. We sense a release of tension or
    2. The flow of words comes to a halt
  • We need empathy to give empathy
• The power of empathy
  • Empathy allows us “to reperceive [our] world in a new way and to go on”
  • “Don’t just do something …”
  • It’s harder to empathise with those who appear to possess more power, status or resources
  • The more we empathise with the other party the safer we feel
  • We “say a lot” by listening for other people’s feelings and needs
  • Rather than put your “but” in the face of an angry person, empathise
  • When we listen for feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters
  • It may be difficult to empathise with those who are closest to us
  • Empathising with someone’s “no” protects us from taking it personally
  • To bring a conversation back to life: interrupt with empty
  • What bores the listener bores the speaker too
  • Speakers prefer that listeners interrupt rather than pretend to listen
  • Empathise with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it
  • Empathy lies in our ability to be present
• Connecting compassionately with ourselves
  • The most important use may be in developing self-compassion
  • To evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred
  • Avoid shoulding yourself!
  • Self-judgements (like all judgements) are tragic expressions of unmet needs
  • Fully connect with historical feelings unmet needs to help us get past them now
  • Self-forgiveness by connecting with the needs we were trying to meet when we took the action we now regret
  • We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognise the needs and values expressed by each part
  • We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame or obligation
  • With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves
  • Refreame as “I choose to … because I want to …”
  • Be conscious of actions motivated by the desire for money or approval, and by fear, shame or guilt. Know the price you pay for them
  • The most dangerous of all behaviours may consist of doing things “because we’re supposed to”
• Expressing anger fully
  • Hurting people is too superficial
  • We are never angry because of what others say or do
  • Motivation by guilt mixes up stimulus and cause
  • The cause of anger lies in our thinking – in thoughts of blame and judgement
  • When we judge others we contribute to violence
  • Use anger as a wake-up call
  • Anger co-opts our energy by diverting it towards punitive actions
  • When we become aware of our needs, anger gives way to life-saving feelings
  • Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment
  • Judgement of other leads to self-fulfilling prophecies
  • Steps to expressing anger
    1. Stop, Breathe
    2. Identify our judgemental thoughts
    3. Connect with our needs
    4. Express our feelings and unmet needs
  • The more we hear them, the more they’ll hear us
  • Stay conscious of the violent thoughts that arise in our minds without judging them
  • When we hear another person’s feelings and needs, we recognise our common humanity
  • Our need is for the other person to truly hear our pain
  • People do no hear our pain when they believe they are at fault
  • Practice translating each judgement into an unmet need
  • Take your time
• Conflict resolution and mediation
  • Creating a connection between people is the most important thing
  • The aim is not to get either side to do what the other side wants
  • Instead we work to create that quality of mutual concern and respect where each party thinks their own needs matter and they are conscious that their needs and the other person’s well being are interdependent
  • This is about mutual satisfaction, not compromise
  • When you make the connection, the problem usually solves itself
  • Conflict resolution
    1. First side expresses their own needs
    2. We search for the real needs of the second party, no matter how they are expressing themselves.
    3. Verify that we both accurately recognise the other person’s needs – if not continue seeing. Both sides need to be able to clearly express the needs of the other.
    4. Express as much empathy as needed to hear each other’s needs accurately
    5. With the clarified needs we propose strategies for resolving the conflict, framing them in positive action language
  • Avoid the use of language that implies wrongness
  • Separate needs from the strategies to fulfil them
  • Intellectual analysis is often receive as criticism
  • Learn to hear needs regardless of how people express them
  • Criticism and diagnosis get in the way of peaceful resolution of conflict
  • People often need empathy before they are able to hear what is being said
  • Use present language fosters respectful discussions “Would you be willing to …”
  • Action language requires the use of positive action verbs
  • Maintaining respect is a key element in successful conflict resolution
  • The objective is not to get the parties to do what we want them to do
  • Sometimes you need to reassure people that they will get the chance to put their side on the table
  • Keep track of unfinished topics as the conversation bounces around to ensure they are all tied off
  • Use role-play to speed up the mediation process
  • No matter what happens we all have the same needs
  • Role-play is simply putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes
  • The purpose of interrupting is to restore the process
  • We need to be well practiced at hearing the need in any message
  • Both sides need to be fully aware of their own needs as well as the others so that scarcity thinking does not take hold.
• The protective use of force
  • The intention behind the protective use of force is only to protect, not to punish, blame or condemn
  • The corrective process is one of education, not punishment.
  • Ignorance includes
    1. Lack of awareness of the consequence of our actions
    2. An inability to see how our needs may be met without injury to others
    3. The belief that we have the right to punish or hurt others because they “deserve” it
    4. Delusional thinking that involves, for example, hearing voices that instruct killing
  • Punitive action is based on the assumption that people commit offenses because they are bad or evil and to correct the situation they need to be made to repent by
    1. Making them suffer enough to see the error of their ways
    2. Repent
    3. Change
  • In reality punitive action is likely to generate resentment and hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behaviour we are seeking
  • Fear of corporal punishment obscures children’s awareness of the compassion underlying their parents’ demands
  • Punishment also includes judgemental labeling and the withholding of privileges
  • When we fear punishment we focus on consequences, not on our own values
  • Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and good will
  • Questions
    1. What do I want this person to do?
    2. What do I want the person’s reasons to be for doing it?
  • Nonviolent communication does not mean permissiveness
• Liberating ourselves and counseling others
  • We can liberate ourselves from cultural conditioning
  • The ability to hear our own feelings and needs and empathise with them can free us from depression
  • Focus on what we want to do rather than what went wrong
  • Defuse stress by hearing our own feelings and needs
  • Defuse stress by empathising with others
  • I empathised with clients instead of interpreting them, I revealed myself instead of diagnosing them
• Expressing appreciation in nonviolent communication
  • Compliments are often judgements – however positive – of others
  • Express appreciation to celebrate, not to manipulate
  • Use these components of appreciation
    1. The action that contributed to our well-being
    2. The need of ours that have been fulfilled
    3. The pleasure engenered by the fulfilment of those needs
  • Receive appreciation without feelings of superiority of false humility
  • “What appreciation might someone give you that would leave you jumping for joy?”
  • We tend to notice what’s wrong rather than what’s right

HBR Guide to Making Every Meeting Matter by Harvard Business Review
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Do you even need to hold a meeting?

• Have you through it through? No – schedule time to think strategically
• Do you need outside input to make progress? No – schedule time to do the work
• Do you need a real-time conversation? No – send an email
• Does it need to be face-to-face? No – send a chat or have a video call
• If yes to all of the above schedule the meeting and prepare for it

Be consistent on what a meeting actually means

• Gatherings of two people are simply conversations
• Sessions where people are collaborating on a task are group work sessions
• Idea generation sessions are brainstormings
• Information dissemination sessions for convenience are generally a bad idea
• Information dissemination sessions for alignment a meeting may or may not be valuable
• Meetings out of habit or tradition are formality meetings, check if these are valuable
• Where connecting is the key their social meetings, likely a team building more suitable
• Decision-supporting meetings to aid a leader in making a decision either seeking input or asking for approval

Understanding the meetings goals by having a clear answer to:

• What do you want to have debated, decided or discovered at the end of this session that you and the team haven’t already debated, decided or discovered?
• What do you want attendees to say when their team members ask, “What happened at the big meeting?”

Shorter meetings

25 or 50 minute meetings allows for people to better get from one meeting to the next without a cascading problem. Instead of an hour try 25/30 min meetings as the short meeting will push for the more important content to be discussed, more preparation, people arriving on time, etc.

Consider having a timer which prevents people speaking for too long to help people focus on the point they want to make and keeps the meeting moving quicker.

Smaller meetings

For active discussions 8 people is about the limit, for brainstorming with variety of input 18 beyond that it needs to be more of a presentation/cascade format as it is harder for people to contribute.

Ground rules such as

• Silence Denotes Agreement – So people feel compelled to speak up in the moment.
• Commitment to start and end on time
• Ask for participation and openness to ideas
• Agree to listen and to limit interruptions
• Clarify how decisions will be made
• Rule out the myth of multitasking

Decision making methods

Group consensus

Majority Vote

Leaders Choice

Not attending a meeting

• What is the value of the meeting? No – speak to the organiser to improve its chances of success or getting it cancelled
• Am I the right person to attend? No – can you recommend someone else to attend in you place
• Is the meeting a priority for me right now? No – can you contribute in advance or attend only part of the meeting

Closing

• Check for completeness – before moving on check that everyone had said everything they need to, if you move on too quickly people will likely re-open the topic again later.
• Check for alignment – “Is everyone ok with where we ended up?” to see if people can’t live with the decision
• Agree on next steps – Get firm, clear commitments
• Reflect on the value – Be verbal and concrete about the benefits from the discussion
• Check for acknowledgements – Acknowledge if people made special contributions
• Gather feedback – How did it go? How could we be even better next time?

Empowered: Ordinary People, Extraordinary Products by Marty Cagan with Chris Jones
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The key message behind the book is that for companies to build products which are valuable to the customer they need empowered product teams where technology is seen as a core competency and partner. Where teams are given meaningful ownership of problems to solve, not tasks to complete, with data as a cornerstone. To achieve this there is a need for a higher quality of leadership.

The Role of Technology

Technology is a core function, not just an expense. To achieve amazing output technology and product needs to be first class citizens, not an expense to be reduced. Providing teams of missionaries with problems is going to actually help reduce costs compared to providing tasks to mercenaries. At strong product and tech companies technology is not there to serve the business it is the business. Technology is not just there to improve efficiency, it is a key enabler to reimagine the future of the business.

Develop People Is Job #1

For teams to achieve requires competent and capable people who can achieve the best results. This is not to just hire the best and leave them to it, this is by coaching people so that they can get better every day. These people need space to own outcomes, not just tasks.

Insecure managers have a large challenge in empowering teams as they feel a need to be recognised for their contributions and see their team as a threat to this which causes them to undermine it. This can result in a lack of diverse viewpoints which diminishes the teams value or hide mistakes which is both harmful and prevents growth and learning.

The leads need to produce a safe and trusting tram for diverse viewpoints to be heard and for mistakes to be discussed and seek to teach or push people to achieve their potential – especially when not realised by the individual.

The book provides a ways to assess product people in product, process and people to produce a gap analysis that can feed into a coaching plan. This can then be worked on and reviewed in 1:1 sessions. Key areas are for people to be dependable, to work in the companies best interests and to be accountable.

There are a set of anti-pattern to watch out for:

• Manager Doesn’t Care – this is when leaders don’t like or see developing people as a key responsibility.
• Manager Reverts to Micromanaging – Micromanaging is easy but it won’t help people develop.
• Manager Spends Time Talking and Not Listening – The session is primarily for your subordinate and not you, it is too easy to talk for the whole session. Also different people learn in different ways so you need to be sensitive to this.
• Manager Doesn’t Provide Difficult Feedback – People need to hear the hard news so that they can learn to grow and improve.
• Manager Is Insecure and/or Incompetent – If you are insecure or incompetent then you are letting your team down as they will be unable to grow (law of the lid).
• Manager Doesn’t Cut Losses – Not everything works out, sometimes you need to cut your losses and let someone go if they are not growing sufficiently.

Three critical characteristics of strong product teams

1. Tackle risks early
2. Solve problems collaboratively
3. Be accountable for results

Collaboration anti-patterns

• One decider – This is not collaboration, this is a dictator model.
• Consensus – It is not unusual for there to be difference of opinion, sometimes there needs to be a judgement call or a test to resolve differences.
• Artifacts – Documents such as “requirements” these shut down discussions and collaboration.
• Compromise – aka vote for your favorite. This can result in mediocre results which is not good for anyone.
• Doing what the customer said – Product is to innovate on behalf of the customer, not for the customer to produce requirements.

What we want are solutions which are

• Valuable – for people to buy or choose it
• Usable – so people can experience the value
• Feasible – something that we can build to deliver the value
• Viable – Something that is able to sell or support and it is net positive
• Ethical – Even if we can and we could make money, should we

To achieve this we need to collaborate to identify what we don’t know and to experiment to see if these can be overcome. We need decisions and collaboration to be transparent so people understand the why and background behind them. Disagree and commit:

1. If you see a snake (important decision to be made), kill it
2. Don’t play with dead snakes (important decision you have made)
3. All opportunities start out looking like snakes

Staffing

The best product companies hire competent people of character, and then coach and develop them into members of extraordinary teams.

Staffing does not mean hiring – this is a much bigger topic and one that the responsibility lies with the manager, not with HR – HR are there to help/partner but they are not responsible.

Of the two phases: discovery and delivery, co-location is magic for discovery. During the discovery phase the product manager, designer and tech lead should be working together – not via artifacts passed between them.

The book highlights the important difference between an individual contributor role to a people management position where the latter is not a more-senior position but a fundamentally different job requiring different skills and talents.

We should build a product vision which is compelling and share it, not create a roadmap of features and share that else this ties our hands too much. We should be stubborn on vision and flexible on details.

Producing principles compliment the vision by sharing the values and beliefs which should help guide decision making and ensure that the product remains ethical.

In the team topology there are two types of teams – platform teams which manage services so they can be leveraged by other teams and experience teams which are responsible for how the products value is exposed to users and customers. Experience teams are sub-divided again into customer-facing teams which focuses on the experience the customer receives and customer-enabling which are teams which are internal users both work best with end-to-end responsibilities. These teams need to be autonomous such that they are regularly able to deliver value without dependencies on other teams, it is quite common for products to have two sides (e.g. buyers and sellers) here it is empowering to organise the teams by the side of the marketplace.

Product Strategy

How do we decide which problems the teams should solve? The answer is the product strategy. This requires:

• Tough choices on what is really important to provide focus
• Generating, identifying and leveraging insights
• Converting insights into actions by giving teams problems to solve
• Active (not micro) management identifying, tracking and resolving obstacles

With regards to objectives there should be just team objectives. The results must be defined in terms of business results which the team need to own and are brought into by setting the target – but the measure needs to be meaningful not a substitute because it is easier to measure. We should be clear with the team if we are looking for a roof shot or a moon shot so they can determine the aptitude for risk. To note the manager is the one assigning the problem to the team and deciding on the acceptable level of risk for the team to take. Companies that avoid shared or common objectives in the name of autonomy or communication often limit their ability to solve the toughest and most important problems.

High-integrity commitments do happen but they should be the exception else this will still be a delivery team not an empowered product team.

Effective objectives:

• Assigning problems and giving team space to solve them
• If a team volunteers this should be taken into account but volunteering does not mean they are the right team for the job
• Leaders decide which teams work on which objective but the key results need to come from the team.
• A back and forth on deciding the objectives is very normal
• There is nothing wrong with assigning the same objective to multiple teams
• There is nothing wrong with asking multiple teams to collaborate on the same objective
• Clarity on the level of ambition you want from the team.
• Keeping the lights on activities are also important and should not be neglected but this should also not become a back door to get work done by the team
• Quarterly gives space to the team to focus but adaptability to the business

One Mission: How Leaders Build A Team Of Teams by Chris Fussell with Charles Goodyear
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The aim of the book is to highlight ways to improve the speed of getting things done – as more and more work is done in cynefin defined complex environments the solutions for the complicated and obvious domains, e.g. bureaucracy, are no longer suitable to solve the problems.

1. The traditional organisational structure is the usual way to support decision making, however it is slow with each level working at a slower cadence than the one below.
2. Additionally people lean on the organisational structure so that they don’t need to take full accountability for their actions e.g. “well I escalated the issue” etc.
3. Finally with the cascading of goals you get two problems –
   • Firstly that at each layer in the organisation there is a different focus or interpretation meaning that as the goals cascade they diverge.
   • Secondly that although the goals might be aligned the timing might not meaning that different parts of the organisation get out of synch of the other.

The issue with goal cascade and speed is overcome using (in their case) a daily meeting which is open to anyone who wants to attend – this is not for hierarchical reports, this is for collaborative problem solving. It is during this session that a reminder can also be given about the priorities so that everyone hears the exact same message – bringing shared consciousness. This session depends on good interpersonal relationships and psychological safety for it to work, as such people were addressed by first names and used video so people to build trust and asked for their thoughts not just raw data. It is important for senior people in these forums to be honest such as highlighting what they don’t know – here not knowing was acceptable; not thinking wasn’t. The frequency of the meetings set the temp for the organisation – ensuring that they could maximise the value of information before it became out of date and worthless.

Its goal was collective learning to drive autonomous action, not grading one another on completed efforts. It was a forward-looking forum, not a hindsight review.

Between these meetings teams have empowered execution through the use of rules which clearly bound what they are allowed to do and in which cases they need to seek approval. The challenge with empowered execution is that people want autonomy without accountability – they can commonly be hesitant. This is the quickest way for the decentralised approach to fail.

The other is deviance – where people step outside of the norms, there are two forms of this, positive and negative. The positive form is where people outstep the norms within their approved space, this could be a different way or working or approaching a problem. The negative deviance is where people push things overstepping their boundaries which can not be tolerated.

Organisations tend to produce complex solutions to complex problems – instead producing simpler rules is vastly more effective in both getting the desired result but also in keeping the speed of the organisation high.

To build a quick decision making organisation relationships are key – these are valuable both within your organisation but also with other organisations you work with. In the past a liason that you might put into another team might have been more of a spy for you or a junior individual for this to be valuable these liaisons need to be well networked, achieved and respected internally – they should add value by building relationships with people in both organisations and help the speed of information flow in both directions.

The book concludes with this definition of leaders in organisations

I understand the complexity of the environment. I understand that you must move faster than our structures allow for and that you understand your problems better than I ever could. I will create space for you to organically communicate and share information. I will empower you to make decisions and execute. I can help guide us on the path, but only you can win the war. I trust you to do that.

In response members must fulfill their equally important part

We understand that you’re building us the space to thrive but that it is ultimately our journey to take. We see you humbling yourself to the reality of the complex fight. We trust you to protect our ability to move with speed and adaptability. We will rise to the challenge and hold ourselves accountable to the outcome.

HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Leadership by Wanda T. Wallace
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

What Makes a Leader?

Divisions with a critical mass of Emotional Intelligence (EI) out performed those without by 20%. EI comprises of 5 skills:

• Self-awareness: knowing your strengths, weaknesses, drives, values and how you impact other.
  • Self-confidence, Realistic self assessment, Self-deprecating sense of humor, Thirst for constructive criticism
• Self-regulation: controlling disruptive impulses and moods
  • Trustworthiness, Integrity, Comfort with ambiguity and change
• Intrinsic Motivation: relishing achievement for its own sake
  • A passion for the work itself and for new challenges, Unflagging energy to improve, Optimism in the face of failure
• Empathy: understanding other people’s emotions and feelings
  • Expertise in attracting and retaining talent, Ability to develop others, Sensitivity to cross-cultural differences
• Social skill: building rapport with others so you can move in the same direction
  • Effectiveness in leading change, Persuasiveness, Extensive networking, Expertise in building and leading teams

EI are skills which we can practice, develop and improve.

What Makes an Effective Executive

What do effective leaders have in common? They get the right things done, in the right ways-by following eight simple rules:

• Make smart decisions
  • Ask what needs to be done
  • Ask what’s right for the enterprise
• Convert that knowledge into effective action
  • Develop action plans
• Ensure accountability throughout your organization
  • Take responsibility for decisions
  • Take responsibility for communicating
  • Focus on opportunities, not problems
  • Run productive meetings
  • Think and say “We,” not “I”

What Leaders Really Do

Leadership is not just a matter of charisma and vision. Leadership skills are not innate, they must be acquired and developed. To understand leadership we need to know how it is different to management.

Management is about coping with complexity; bringing order and predictability.
Leadership is about learning how to cope with rapid change and to be able to adapt to it.

Management	Leadership
Planning and budgeting	Setting direction
Organising and staffing	Aligning people
Provides control and solves problems	Provides motivation

The Work of Leadership

In bussiness there are many complex and changing problems and it is people throughout the organisation which needs to be able to adapt to these. This work is tough on everyone and the solutions are counterintuitive.

• Rather than providing solutions, you must ask tough questions and leverage employees’ collective intelligence.
• Instead of maintaining norms, you must challenge the “way we do business.”
• And rather than quelling conflict, you need to draw issues out and let people feel the sting of reality

How do we do this?

1. Get on the balcony. Move back and forth between the action and the “balcony.” You’ll spot emerging patterns, such as power struggles or work avoidance. This high-level perspective helps you mobilize people to do adaptive work.
2. Identify your adaptive challenge. Ask which beliefs, values, and behaviors needed overhauling. Resolving these will bring company wide collaboration.
3. Regulate distress. To inspire change-without disabling people-pace adaptive work:
   1. Let employees debate issues and clarify assumptions safely
   2. Provide direction. Define key issues and values. Control the rate of change: Don’t start too many initiatives simultaneously without stopping others.
   3. Maintain just enough tension, resisting pressure to restore the status quo. Raise tough questions without succumbing to anxiety yourself. Communicate presence and poise.
4. Maintain disciplined attention. Encourage managers to grapple with divisive issues, rather than indulging in scapegoating or denial. Deepen the debate to unlock polarized, superficial conflict. Demonstrate collaboration to solve problems.
5. Give the work back to employees. To instill collective self-confidence (versus dependence on you) support rather than control people. Encourage risk taking and responsibility-then back people up if they err. Help them recognize they contain the solutions.
6. Protect leadership voices from below. Don’t silence whistleblowers, creative deviants and others exposing contradictions within your company. Their perspectives can provoke fresh thinking. Ask, “What is this guy really talking about? Have we missed something?”

Why should anyone be led by you?

Of course, you need vision, energy, authority and strategic direction but you also need these qualities if you want people to follow you:

• Show you’re human, selectively revealing weaknesses.
• Be a “sensor”, collecting soft people data that lets you rely on intuition.
• Manage employees with “tough empathy”. Care passionately about them and their work, while giving them only what they need to achieve their best.
• Dare to be different, capitalizing on your uniqueness.

Crucible of leadership

Extraordinary leaders find meaning in and learn from the most negative events. Such transformative events are called crucibles-a severe test or trial. Crucibles are intense, often traumatic and always unplanned where leaders emerge from adversity stronger, more confident in themselves and their purpose as well as more committed to their work.

Four skills enable leaders to learn from adversity:

1. Engage others in shared meaning
2. A distinctive, compelling voice
3. Integrity
4. Adaptive capacity. This most critical skill includes the ability to grasp context, and hardiness. Grasping context requires weighing many factors (e.g.. how different people will interpret a gesture). Without this quality, leaders can’t connect with constituents.

Level 5 Leadership

Only 11 of the 1,435 Fortune 500 companies have sustained stock returns at least three times the market’s for 15 years after a major transition period (see Good To Great). These 11 companies has one thing in comment – a “Level 5” leader at the helm. Level 5 leaders have both deep personal humility with intense professional will. What are the leadership levels?

1. Highly capable individual: Makes productive personal contributions through talent, knowledge, skills, and good work habits
2. Contributing team member: Contributes to the achievement of group objectives; works effectively with others in a group setting
3. Competent manager: Organises people and resources toward the effective and efficient pursuit of predetermined objectives.
4. Effective leader: Catalyses commitment to and vigorously chases a clear and compelling vision, stimulates the group to high standards of performance
5. Executive: Builds enduring greatness through a paradoxical combination of personal humility plus professional drive

Each layer sits on top of the one before and to be an effective level 5 leader means mastering all 5 levels.

Seven Transformations of Leadership

A key leadership skill is leading transformations. There are seven types of ation logic – these have a significant impact on how the transformation is executed and received.

Type	Characteristics	Strengths	Weaknesses
Opportunist	Wins any way possible. Self-oriented, manipulative	Good in emergencies and in pursuing sales	Few people want to follow them for the long term
Diplomat	Avoids conflict. Wants to belong, obeys group norms and doesn’t rock the boat	Supportive glue in teams	Can’t provide painful feedback or make the ard decisions needed to improve performance
Expert	Rules by logic and expertise. Uses hard data to gain consensus and buy-in.	Good individual contributor.	Lacks emotional intelligence, lacks respect for those with less expertise
Achiever	Meets strategic goals. Promotes teamwork, juggles managerial duties and respond to market demands to achieve goals.	Well suited to managerial work	Inhibits thinking outside the box
Individualist	Operates in unconventional ways. Ignores rules they regard as irrelevant	Effective in venture and consulting roles.	Irritates colleagues and bosses by ignoring key organisational processes and people.
Strategist	Generates organisational and personal change. Highly collaborative, weaves vision with pragmatic, timely initiatives, changes existing assumptions	Generates transformations over the short and long term	None
Alchamist	Generates social transformation. Reinventing organisations in historical ways.	Leads society wide change	None

Discovering your Authentic Leadership

Authentic leaders achieve by being themselves. To be able to do this you really need to know yourself.

1. Which people and experiences in your early life had the greatest impact on you?
2. What tools do you use to become self-aware? What is your authentic self? What are the moments when you say to yourself, this is the real me? 3. What are your most deeply held values? Where did they come from?
3. Have your values changed significantly since your childhood? How do your values inform your actions?
4. What motivates you extrinsically? What are your intrinsic motivations? How do you balance extrinsic and intrinsic motivation in your life?
5. What kind of support team do you have? How can your support team make you a more authentic leader? How should you diversify your team to broaden your perspective?
6. Is your life integrated? Are you able to be the same person in all as aspects of your life-personal, work, family, and community? If not, what is holding you back?
7. What does being authentic mean in your life? Are you more effective as a leader when you behave authentically? Have you ever paid a price for your authenticity as a leader? Was it worth it?
8. What steps can you take today, tomorrow, and over the next year to develop your authentic leadership?

In Praise of Incomplete Leaders

The biggest myth in leadership is the “complete leader”: someone at the top who’s got it all figured out. Trying to be this person is a danger to you and your company. Instead accept that you’re human, with strengths and weaknesses. Understand the four leadership capabilities all organizations need:

• Sensemaking: interpreting developments in the business environment
  • Constantly understanding changes in the business environment and interpreting their ramifications for your industry and company
• Relating: building trusting relationships
  • Building trusting relationships, balancing advocacy (explaining your viewpoints) with inquiry (listening to understand others viewpoints), and cultivating networks of supportive confidants
• Visioning: communicating a compelling image of the future
  • Creating credible and compelling images of a desired future that people in the organization want to create together
• Inventing: coming up with new ways of doing things
  • Creating new ways of approaching tasks or overcoming seemingly insurmountable problems to turn visions into reality

Then find and work with others who can provide the capabilities you’re missing. Not only does this produce better results but it also promotes leadership throughout the organisation – leading to new ideas the company needs to excel.

You Can’t Know It All: Leading in the Age of Deep Expertise by Wanda T. Wallace
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Expert based leader – E-leader

Expert leader have grown through getting deeper and deeper knowledge on a particular topic (e.g. tax law). Being a leader tends to be more of the same deep expertise.

Spanning leader – S-leader

E-leaders are capped by their knowledge – it is a challenge to reach outside of their area of expertise. Spanning leadership is very different and is a transition which must be gone through so that leaders are able to take on broader areas – some of which they may have little knowledge.

E-leader transition to to S-leader

How You Add Value
adding value tangibly	becomes	recognising the intangible value you add
controlling quality and risk	becomes	controlling strategic focus and priorities
contributing specific knowledge	becomes	contributing to the commercial impact
doing it yourself	becomes	creating leverage
How You Get (the Right) Work Done
controlling from the center	becomes	enabling the team
relying on professional skills and contacts	becomes	relying on a broad network
drilling deeply	becomes	embracing ambiguity
deep focus and concentration	becomes	ability to shift focus often
getting the right decision	becomes	moving forward with a good call
How You Interact
trusting yourself to do a good job	becomes	trusting a broad base of people
relying on rational arguments	becomes	relying on relationships and diplomacy to resolve issues and influence outcomes
converations are about facts	becomes	conversations include emotions
quirky personality is accepted	becomes	executive presence matters
people follow because of your specific knowledge	becomes	people follow because of inspiration

Some of the key skills in the transformation

• Delegation – proper delegation not directing/instructing people how to do the task
• An enabling mind-set –

Instructing, Expert Mind-set	Enabling, Spanning Mind-set
I know what to do I provide answers or structure If people do what I say, we will have a good outcome I add value by knowing what to do I am respected because I know what to do	There are multiple approaches that lead to the same outcome I don’t know exactly what to do, but I know what the organisation needs I encourage people to think and to stretch themselves I have time to guide; this is on my primary agenda I add value by enabling others I am respected because I can involve and inspire others

• Ask different questions –

The Instructing, Expert Mind-set asks:	The Enabling, Spanning Mind-set asks:
Why did this happen? What wasn’t understood? What dd we miss? Conclude with direction – “This i what needs to be done next time”	What possibilities does this create? How else could you frame the situation? How will you ensure that you stay on track? What have we learned from this? Who else needs to be consulted? Who else has an opinion that should be considered? Conclude with “What do you want to do differently next time?”

• Keeping in touch with work – empowering but getting updates
• Coping with mistakes – an inevitable part of the job
• Build team members’ reliance on each other – building networks and less centralisation so things are not just hub and spoke
• Co-develop strategy – not just a top down but including input and feedback
• Being a connector exchanging information
• Shifting focus based on value vs effort
• Realising that there is no perfect solution so embracing that and moving forward

The Art of Action: How Leaders Close the Gaps between Plans, Actions and Results by Stephen Bungay
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Knowledge Gap – Caused by the chaotic world in which we live in and how it changes.
Alignment Gap – Caused by miss alignment between top-level and low-level managers.
Effect Gap – The difference between the result achieved and the result desired

Real uncertainties produce psychological uncertainties which we do not like. As such we try to over come these gaps in the following ways:

Classic Knowledge Gap solution– Get more information and more analysis than resolution and action. This in tern slows things down and means the data is more out of date which can itself increase the risk which the data was supposed to help with.
Classic Alignment Gap solution – Forcing top managers to specify exactly what they want people to do – stressing actions rather than outcomes, causing extra work and confusion. People don’t feel trusted so push decisions up the organisation, which causes frustration and a reinforcing loop.
Classic Effect Gap solution – Causes extra controls to “ensure” they get what they wanted. Metrics, typically on inputs rather than outputs, are put in place and monitored. This adds additional cost and bureaucracy. Creating a culture of risk avoidance, checks and close supervision making the problem worse.

These are the result of the separation of strategy and execution. Here managers produce the strategy and workers execute it. This separation produces a rigidity meaning that as the situation changes the plans can not be followed.
The book presents an alternative approach whereby everyone is deciding on strategy in align with the higher intent and execution. This approach is termed “Directed opportunism”. A key element of this is to provide both alignment and autonomy.

Alignment and Autonomy – These can be seen as opposite ends of a spectrum, however you can still have Autonomy with Alignment. “Directed opportunism” is seen as a way to achieve this. A key element of this approach are carefully constructed commands, consisting of the following components:

• Context – What is the situation?
• Higher Intents – Firstly, the what and why from my boss; Secondly, the what and why of their boss.
• My Intent – What are we trying to achieve and why?
• Measures – In order to know if the intent is being realised – however care must be taken that the measures themselves are not the target. Metrics along with other observations should all be taken into account.
• Implied Tasks – Main Tasks, responsibilities and timing. Highlight which is the main effort.
• Boundaries – What are our freedoms and what are the constraints
• Backbrief – Has the situation changed? No – the brief is valid; Yes – we have to change some tasks, but what we are trying to achieve is still valid; Yes – and we have to change what we are trying to achieve

Directed opportunism Knowledge Gap – Limit direction to defining and communicating the intent
Directed opportunism Alignment Gap – Allow each level to define how they will achieve the intent of the next level up and “backbrief” so that there is a closed loop to ensure understanding.
Directed opportunism Effect Gap – Give individuals freedom to adjust their actions in line with intent

A key element is that for this to work means that the people doing this need to be competent and suitably skilled.

At a time there is a key intent – a sequence of these are built such that there is clarity on what must be achieved to move towards the ultimate goal.

A briefing cascade will only work properly if the organisational structure broadly reflects the task structure. If it is in conflict it should be change before anything else. It requires an appropriate level of hierarchy of entities that can be made wholly or largely accountable for critical tasks, led by people who are skilled and experiences enough to make autonomous decisions.

People tend to act rationally based from their point of view

Typically strategy includes plans, incentives, targets, work-plans etc being passed to the day to day bussiness to operate. Instead the book uses a three tier approach with strategy, execution and tactics.

Leadership and management are not the only two approaches – directing is also an approach which should be in the tool box.

• Directing – authority, responsibility and duty of direction
  • Developing strategy
  • Giving direction
  • Building the organisation
• Leading – Getting people to achieve objectives
  • Task
  • Team
  • Individual
• Management – Organise and controlling resources to achieve objectives
  • Resourcing
  • Organising
  • Controlling

In summary –

1. We are finite beings with limited knowledge and independent wills
2. The bussiness environment is unpredictable and uncertain, so we should expect the unexpected and should not plan beyond the circumstances we can foresee
3. Within the constraints of our limited knowledge we should strive to identify the essentials of a situation and make choices about what it is most important to achieve
4. To allow people to take effective action, we must make sure they understand what they are to achieve and why
5. They should then explain what they are going to do as a result, define the implied tasks, and check back with us
6. They should then assign the tasks they have defined to individuals who are accountable for achieving them, and specify boundaries within which they are free to act
7. Everyone must have the skills and resources to do what is needed and the space to take independent decisions and actions when the unexpected occurs, as it will
8. As the situation changes, everyone should be expected to adapt their actions according to their best judgement in order to achieve the intended outcomes
9. People will only show the level of initiative required if they believe that the organisation will support them
10. What has not been made simply cannot be made clear and what is not clear will not get done

The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth by Amy C. Edmondson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The book provides a number of great stories from when Psychological Safety was present, e.g. the, and when it was not, e.g. VW emissions scandal

Psychological Safety is the experience at a group level about personal consequences aka wil others give you the benefit of doubt. This is different to trust which is on the individual level.

A lack of psychological safety can create an illusion of success that eventually turns into serious bussiness failure.

Epidemic of Silence – because it is easier not to speak up, especially when you fear what will happen if you do. Speaking up benefits the organisation but the benefit is neither immediate nor certain. Speaking up produces learning –

• from mistakes
• fixing issues not just working around them
• sharing knowledge even when confidence in the knowledge is low
• team based learning through knowledge sharing, offering suggestions and brainstorming

Leaders need to embrace bad news, not only good news. Getting bad news early can nearly always reduce or mitigate failure. People need to be ok to embrace the bad and supported to experiment – which may result in failure. E.g. at Pixar all movies start out bad and it is by embracing that, getting feedback and improving that they make great movies. This is achieved through

• transparency,
• productive conflict,
• humble listening,
• caring,
• making it safe to fail through rapid evaluation (because long lived zombie projects are the real failure),
• asking for input and
• saying “I don’t know”.

Setting the stage to align on shared expectations and meaning
reFrame the Work – setting expectations about failure, uncertainty and interdependence – highlighting the need for voice
Emphasising purpose – Identifying what is at stake, why it matters and for whom

Inviting participation so people are confident that voice is welcome
Demonstrate situational humility – acknowledge gaps
Practice inquiry – ask good questions and model intense listening
Set up Structures and Processes – forums for input, guidelines for discussions

Respond productively to orientate towards continuous learning
Express appreciation – listen, acknowledge and thank
Destigmatize failure – look forward, offer help, discuss, consider and brainstorm next steps
Sanction clear violations

Reframe the boss

	Default Frame	Reframe
The Boss	Has answers Gives orders Assesses others performance	Sets direction Invites input to clarify and improve Creates conditions for continued learning Learning achieved through success and failure The aim is to achieve excellence
Others	Subordinates who must do what they’re told	Contributors with crucial knowledge and insight

Reframe failure

	Traditional Frame	Destigmatised Reframe
Concept of Failure	Failure is not acceptable	Failure is a natural by-product of experimentation
Beliefs about effective performance	Effective performers don’t fail	Effective performers produce, learn from and share the lessons from intelligent failures
The goal	Prevent failure	Promote fast learning
The frame’s impact	People hide failure to protect themselves	Open discussions, fast learning and innovation

Responding to different types of failure

Preventable Failure	Complex Failure	Intelligent Failure
Training Retraining Process improvement Systems redesign Sanctions – if repeated or blameworthy	Failure analysis from diverse perspectives Identification of risk factors to address System improvements	Failure parties Failure awards Thoughtful analysis Brainstorming new hypotheses Design next experiments

Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

1. What do you really want to address?
   1. The content
   2. The pattern
   3. The relationship
2. If?
   1. Don’t let fear make the decision.
   2. What is the risk of not having the conversation?

1. What story am I telling myself? What is the rest of the stories?

	Motivation	Ability
Personal	Is the person motivated to do it	Does the person have the skills/knowledge
Social	People want to fit in with others	Are others helping or hindering
Structure	Does the reward structure match the aim	Does the physical structure fit

1. Make it safe with facts
2. Explain the gap between expected and observed
3. Make it motivating and easy (using the above table)
4. Agree on a plan and follow up – who does what by when, then follow up
5. Stay focused and flexible – keep to the topic, if new topics come up then decide if they are more important but return to the original topic. Don’t get sidetracked.

Self assessment

Choose What and If

1. To avoid getting into an argument, I tend to put off certain discussions longer than I should.
2. Sometimes when people disappoint or bother me, I confront them-only to realize that I talked about the easy problem, but not the real root problem.
3. Parts of my life would improve if I could just figure out how to talk about certain hot topics without taking too much risk.
4. Occasionally I talk myself out of holding a certain discussion by convincing myself it’s better to cope than it is to risk an ugly confrontation.
5. With some of the problems I care about the most, I find myself bringing up the same issue over and over again.

Master My Stories

1. When others do things that are mean or selfish and I’m less than kind in return, I tell myself that they deserved it.
2. When others don’t deliver on a promise, there are times when I judge their reasons for doing so more quickly than I should.
3. Sometimes
4. I assume that others cause me problems on purpose, and then I act as if this assumption is actually true when it may be false.
5. Occasionally I wonder if I’m too quick to anger.
6. There are times when I’ve totally blamed others for a problem only to learn that I was partially responsible.

Describe the Gap

1. Sometimes I bring up problems in a way that makes others defensive.
2. Occasionally I talk to someone about his or her bad behavior within earshot of others.
3. There are times when I can’t figure out how to give others completely honest feedback in a way that won’t offend them.
4. Sometimes when I bring up a problem. I do too
5. much talking and not enough listening.
6. When I bring up problems with others, there are times when I make it hard for them to share their views

Make It Motivating

1. I can’t motivate some people to change because I don’t have enough power to do so.
2. In order to get people to want to do certain things, sometimes I rely on guilt or threats
3. There are times when I can’t figure out why people aren’t interested in doing what they should be doing.
4. Sometimes it’s hard to get others to understand that the behavior I want from them is really in their best interest.
5. There are people routinely deal with who, to be honest, just can’t be motivated.

Make It Easy

1. When people find a job to be unattractive or nox ious, I occasionally turn up the heat so they’ll do it no matter what.
2. When someone can’t do something, I tend to jump in with my advice, when all they really want is a chance to talk about their ideas.
3. Sometimes I think that individuals who bend over backward to make jobs easy are pampering people who just need to do their job and be held accountable.
4. Occasionally after finishing a problem-solving discussion, I forget to check to see if the other person is committed to doing what’s necessary.
5. There are times when I’ve asked others for their ideas but didn’t really need them because I already had a plan of my own.

Stay Focused and Flexible

1. When talking to others about problems, sometimes I get sidetracked and miss the original problem.
2. When people bring up whole new problems during an accountability discussion, I don’t know what to do with the new issue.
3. When people get angry in the middle of a discussion, I don’t always know how to respond.
4. I’m pretty good at staying focused on an issue, but occasionally I may miss talking about what the other person really wants to discuss.
5. When people miss a commitment and should have updated me but didn’t, I generally let them off the hook-even though they didn’t have the courtesy to involve me.

Agree on a Plan and Follow Up

1. Sometimes I work through a problem but forget to clarify who is supposed to do what by when
2. There are times when I’m disappointed with what others have done because they have failed to understand exactly what I wanted them to do.
3. Sometimes I neglect to give others a specific deadline, only to be surprised when they don’t deliver by the time I expected them to.
4. I’m pretty sure that either my kids, my spouse, or some of the people I work with think I micromanage them.
5. Sometimes I give people assignments but don’t have adequate time to follow up.

The aim – to answer “No” to all of the statements